Being a couple is more than just being friends, more than simply having a sexual relationship. When we become a couple, we create something more than just two people. This union is powerful and important, as shown by the commitment and desire to be a couple and the pain caused if it fails or breaks down.
When we become a couple and fall in love, we invest part of ourselves in a new shared identity, which provides us with intimacy and safety. Although we might not notice; it also becomes our greatest challenge.
As a couple we create a container which holds all our hopes, fears and desires. When a relationship works, it leads to an immensely fulfilling life. However, as many of us find out, it is not always like that. We may realize that the friendship is not what we expected. Our chosen partner is not quite the person we imagined them to be. The container of our couple starts to feel less secure.
Many people are able to adjust to life changes and reshape the relationship, but in some cases, change feels as if the container is breaking up, the foundations are cracking. Disappointment, anger, and fear begin to replace the initial hopes. It is at this point that help is required.
The sooner issues are addressed, the easier they are to work out. Sometimes, marriage counseling or couples therapy is all that is needed, providing a space for the couple to think and to explore their situation.
Marriage Counseling can offer the opportunity to understand the deeper, more unconscious blockages and patterns in a relationship. This frequently links to our earliest and most powerful emotional experiences. Through mutual understanding, a couple often finds new strategies for enjoying their relationship.
What happens in therapy?
Talking to a couples therapist about one’s most private and intimate relationship is a brave thing to do. Seeking professional help is a big step toward dealing with these issues, and it takes courage.
Through experience we know that difficulties between couples are very rarely due to just one person. We are complex individuals with all sorts of fears, hopes, fantasies, and needs. A relationship specialist provides a place where these issues can be explored and expressed without the world coming to an end. Couples counseling is a place in which anything can be said, but these words need not lead to action until a strategy becomes clear.
We all realize that difficulties cluster around major events; for instance, trading the single life for coupledom, having a baby, financial difficulties, sexual differences, career changes, lifestyle changes, or retirement. Therapists understand the diverse feelings that exist in these situations. We help the couple make sense of those experiences.
We offer a space in which difficult feelings can be explored between the couple without judgment or blame. Our role is to provide a safe and informed place in which a couple can become clear about what is happening between them, allowing them to make healthy choices. Therefore, couples can move on and make decisions with greater clarity and understanding.
Through our couples therapy, we help couples more truthfully know themselves and each other. This leads to a better understanding of how their inner selves are affecting their daytoday, outer lives.
Couples Counseling is not an easy process at times. There is much on the line for couples, families, and individuals who are facing such difficulties. The journey may be hard, but the rewards are great. An initial consultation will enable you to discover whether marriage counseling or couples therapy will be a way forward for you.
If you and your partner are having difficulty communicating or have experienced an event that caused a deterioration in trust, we can help. Call us today to schedule an appointment.